Friends ???

Dont really know what to say about the word FRIENDS ...
I sometimes wonder if there is a such thing ..
Everyone has their own little world with their own social circle . In which you decide who is allowed in your world and who needs to get the boot .. who is worthy of your friendship and who is just too fake to be in your network ...

Well to me real friends encourage you to do positive things in your life ..Real friends give you a call or a text from time to time to check up on you to make sure you are okay ..Hell a real damn friend will give up a whole days pay to help a friend in desperate need .. A real friend doesn't talk iish behind your back ..A real friend never trys to ruin what makes you happy because then thats just called being a hater ..A real friend or friends are those people that ride with you but tell you when you fucked up and in return you should take what they say into consideration ..a Real friend understands when the next one is hurting a Real friend is the ones that make it to the end the ones that leave for a while but always return ..

I never went anywhere im still here .. shit I never even left I was just betrayed and had to let go and move on to make room for the real friends that deserved the spot in the first place ..

I HATE WOMEN BEATERS ITS DISGUSTING ....THATS WHY I SAID SOMETHING

okay ppl excuse my french but I am pissed right now ....
So you get your ass smacked up a couple of times by your husband who do you call me (your cousin) and a person that i will not metion but use to be your bestfriend for help she will know who she is when she reads this ..hes kicking your ass for not cooking ,cleaning ,etc and you cry on the phone you dont know what to do? you say you want to move back to nyc ..
You have call me several times so I stand on my two feet say "fuck it "and decided to say something ..
Correct me if I am wrong but by you calling me I took it as a cry for help . I didnt want the next step to lead to me having to visit a grave for your ass and now you are mad at me because your mother found out and put a stop to everything. Now u say you are happy and its not happening anymore come on ...
Who the hell are you kidding .. you are lucky Isaid something real talk because the next thing he was going to do was kill your ass .Blood is thicker than water and if it was the other way around I would like for you to help me before I die in the hands of a women beater ..Martinez women dont get their ass beat we kick ass ...smh im so pissed but i still love you bitch

My Mom ? My Friend ? My Enemy til the end !

Some of you have asked : So how is your relationship with your mom ?
Here is my answer people .. I promise not to yell ..lol...


Wow where do I start ? No , I don't hold mom too close to my heart . why should I ? ..She didn't do the same , She let her men get in the way .

I thought, I was her little girl , her angel , even her world . Time & time again she told me I destroyed her life . Not my fault she opened her legs that night . She has called me a Bitch and gave me responsibilities that weren't even mine.Cook & clean at the age of 10 . She was always in her room in & out with different men . Forced to look after the little ones until a neighbor called ACS .. That put her on point ..but once the case was closed she fell off again .

She never took drugs or took a drink . she was addicted to the street life three kids should of made her think .One day i asked " mom why all these dudes she said don't worry about it I have to make sure there is rent money and food .
Then she got a steady boyfriend she stoled him from her best friend . She didn't even care . What mattered was how much money he made .
She was to blind to see what was happening in front of her face . She let that bastard into my room every morning allegedly to say goodbye before he went to work. Yeah right ..his hands under my sheets where his shouldn't be .. She never paid attention that's why he raped me .
She didn't protect me and that was sad . No it didn't happen to the other two because they always had their dad . Mine was dead and I had wished he was around alive because what I wanted to do was die.. die ..die
I felt like my mom abandon me . she never believed a word that spoke . She even took my poetry as a damn joke .She didn't see it was a cry for help . I had to start fighting to defend myself . She believed him over me & from that day forward mom was dead to me . She was never around when I screamed her name . I started using drugs to ease my pain . I grew up on my own . I thank myself for who I am today .

I owe nothing to her & she's going t0 have to take it all to her grave ..........THE END

I WAS ONLY 13

TEARS IN MY EYES AND BLOOD AT MY FEET . I CAN NEVER LET FEAR OVER COME ME .I MUST STAND UP TO HIM . I CAN'T TAKE THIS PAIN ANY LONGER . HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY FATHER . I KEEP TELLING HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE BUT HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT I KEEP SAYING "NO" . HE JUST DOESN'T CARE , I THREATEN TO TELL MY MOM AND HE SAYS " YOU BETTER NOT DARE "

I WOULD SIT AND WONDER WHY ..WHY ..WHY . I'M ONLY 13 THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME .I NEEDED HELP AND I NEEDED IT FAST I CONFINED IN A FRIEND , ONE FROM MY CLASS . SHE SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME BUT SHE HAD TO TELL HER MOTHER ... LITTLE DID I KNOW THE MAN WAS HER MOTHERS BROTHER . " SHE SAYS JACKIE I DO UNDERSTAND ,NOW ITS TIME TO INFORM YOU MOM ABOUT HER NO GOOD MAN .. TEARS IN MY EYES I WAS SO SCARED BUT I WILL OKAY RIGHT THIS WILL BE ALL OVER BY THE END OF THE DAY ..

WE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND WE STEP INSIDE . I BEING TO SPEAK .. AND SLAP ... " SHE IS LYING " I CANT BELIEVE THATS WHAT MY MOM SAID ..

SHOCKED......AND

SO HURT BE MY MOTHERS BETRAYAL ...I PACKED A BAG AND RAN AWAY ..I KEPT RUNNING NOT KNOWING WHERE TO GO . BUT RUNNING FROM THE PAIN NO LITTLE GIRL SHOULD UNDERGO .

THE END

THIS IS A REAL STORY WRITTING MAKES ME HEAL AND YES I DID EVENTUALLY FORGIVE MY MOTHER BUT IT TOOK 5 YEARS TO DO SO .. AND SHE DID EVENTUALLY FIND OUT THE TRUTH BECAUSE MONTHS LATER HE DID IT TO A 4 YEAR OLD GIRL AND WAS SENT TO JAIL .. HE IS FREE NOW AND I DO BUMP INTO HIM FROM TIME TO TIME BUT I SMILE BECAUSE HE CAN NO LONGER HARM ME I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE ......

STD'S IS NO JOKE ...RAP IT UP!

I ENTER YOUR HEART ONLY TO FIND YOUR CRY FOR HELP ..I GOT THERE JUST I TIME . YOU TRIED SUICIDE ONCE BEFORE .BUT GOD WOULDNT LET YOU GO , HE STOOD BY YOUR SIDE .YOU REPEAT THESE WORDS TO ME .." I WANT TO DIE " AND I ASK WHY ? YOU SAY SOMEONE HAS POISONED MY BLOOD FOREVER .MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ."I SHOULD OF LISTENED WHEN MY MOTHER SAID " PROTECT YOURSELF AND DONT LET LOVE GET IN THE WAY " SEX GAME ...SEX GAME .. MY LIFE IS OVER " NOW IM LEAVING THIS WORLD AND MORE WILL FOLLOW MY PAIN I MUST SWALLOW "........................ I MUST EXTEND MY KNOWLEDGE WHEN I SAY NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME BUT ABOUT A FRIEND OF MINE ..THAT WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS & BECAUSE SHE LOVED HER BOYFRIEND SO MUCH EVERYTIME HE CHEATED SHE FORGAVE HIM AND TOOK HIM BACK ..IM MEAN THAT WAS HER CHOICE EVRYONE IS ALLOWED TO MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES ..BUT IT WAS THE WRONG ONE IN HER CASE ..SHE WASNT FEELING SO COMFORTABLE ONE MORNING AND DECIDED TO MAKE A DR. VISIT ..THAT IS WHEN SHE LEARNED SHE HAD A STD THAT HER BOYFRIEND GAVE HER ..WHEN SHE BROUGHT IT TO HIS ATTENTION HE SAID HE WAS CLEAN AND HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT AND IF HE WAS DIRTY SHE HAD GIVEN IT TO HIM ...WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE !...LESSON LEARNED RAP IT UP !! I ALSO LOST MY FATHER TO HIV BACK IN 1990 ..NOT A PRETTY SITE SO JUST PREVENT THE SPREAD OF STD'S AND PROTECT YOURSELF ..CONDOMS DO WORK WHEN WORN PROPERLY....IM OUT

SAYING NO IS OK

SOMETHING FOR YOU CLOSE MINDED PARENTS THAT THINK IT CANT HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILDREN ..NOT TRUE WHEN THERE IS SEXUAL ABUSE ON OUR CHILDREN IN THE WORLD EVERYDAY ..I KNOW MY CHILDHOOD ABUSER IS STILL OUT THERE ..OMG ...YES IT DID HAPPEN TO ME FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DIDNT KNOW ..FOR YEARS I WAS ASHAMED ..BUT IT IS NOW AS AN ADULT THAT I FACE MY PAST AND USE IT TO PROTECT MY CHILDREN .. LOOK FOR THE SIGNS ..AND OPEN UP YOUR EYES TO POSSIBILITIES........THAT SONG IS BY A LIL LADY THAT I KNOW FROM MY PAST ..WHEN I CAME ACROSS THAT SONG IT TOUCHED ME BECAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE THE SONG WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR ME ..EVEN THOUGH IT CANT BE CUZ WHEN I WAS IN MY SITUATION 14 YEARS AGO SHE WAS JUST A LIL GIRL ..LOLBUT THAT IS JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT SOME WOMEN GO THROUGH THINGS IN THERE PAST THAT MAKE THEM THE PEOPLE THEY ARE TODAY ..AND FOR EVERY WOMAN OUT THERE WITH LIL DIVAS WATCH YOUR LIL GIRL CAREFULLY CUZ THE PERSON THAT COULD ABUSE THEM MIGHT BE RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF YOUR CHILDREN CUZ IT HURTS THEM MORE WHEN THEY FEEL DEFEATED BY THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEIR PARENTS WAS THAT ONE LAST PERSON THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD RUN TO FOR PROTECTION ..AND DONT GET IT TWISTED IT CAN HAPPEN TO LIL BOYS TO SO ALWAYS REMIND YOUR CHILDREN BOY AND GIRL THAT IT IS ALWAYS OKAY TO SAY NO AND THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR THEM ..AND THAT THEY CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING ..DONT JUST TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM THE WAY MY MOM DID ...I HAVE FORGIVEN HER YES BUT IT TOOK YEARS FOR ME TO DO THAT ...CUZ IT WASNT REALLY HER FAULT ..IT WAS THE SICK TWISTED ASSHOLE THAT HAD THE NERVE TO DO IT TO ME AND HAD TWO LIL GIRLS OF HIS OWN HOW WOULD HE HAVE LIKED IF IT WERE DONE TO THEM ..OR MAYBE HE DID IT TO THEM AS WELL I WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW .. ONLY THING THAT WAS MY MOTHERS FAULT WAS FOR BELIEVEING HIM OVER HER OWN FLESH AND BLOOD ..AND TURNING HER BACK ON ME .SO WITH THAT SAID MOTHERS , FATHERS PROTECT YOUR BABIES ...I KNOW I WILL TILL THE DAY I DIE ........PEACE PPLS

I AM A FABULOUS WOMAN

THE WAY MY HAIR BLOWS IN THE WIND THE SWAY OF MY HIPS AND SOFTNESS OF MY SKIN I AM A MOTHER I AM A FRIEND IT IS ME THAT IS THERE AT THE END THE TEARS THAT FLOW DOWN MY FACE I AM HUMAN I HAVE MADE MISTAKES MY BODY OF A HOURGLASS SHAPE MY HEART THAT REFUSES TO BE PLAYED MY MIND THAT HOLDS THOUGHTS AND SO MUCH MORE I AM THE ONE THAT FIGHTS MY WAR .THE LENGTH OF MY HAIR AND THE CURVE OF MY NAILS THE TALES OF MY LIFE THAT BRANG SO MUCH PAIN AND IN THE LONG RUN I DID NOT LOSE I GAINED !THE STRENGTH OF MY WALK THE WAY I TALK IT WAS NEVER WHAT YOU THOUGHTI LIVE LIFE IN MY OWN WAY THANKING GOD HE LETS ME SEE THE NEXT DAY I AM NOW AND FOREVER WILL BE A WOMEN A FABULOUS WOMEN . IN CONTROL OF HER OWN I AM ME ALWAYS THE BEST I COULD BE .